Saturday, December 25, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
how far can i go...
again i guess i made it...
feel like crying yet finally still able to restrain it...
tho i do feel it hurt in my heart...
so hurt again that i give up fixing it...
no explanation, nothing to ask for...
i even don't know what i really want...
he is the first one and u r the second one...
the two that are dearest to me...
so guess that shall be it...
i'm trying hard to hold it...
i don't know how far i can go...
earlier there seemed to be some glimpse light in me...
yet they are all gone...
guess they are too little and too fragile to stay my company...
but that's ok...
'cause i know that's the nature of being...
loneliness and pretense...
it's all by myself...
i promise i'll manage to kick off those killing negative thoughts...
yet i doubt if there will be success...
feel like crying yet finally still able to restrain it...
tho i do feel it hurt in my heart...
so hurt again that i give up fixing it...
no explanation, nothing to ask for...
i even don't know what i really want...
he is the first one and u r the second one...
the two that are dearest to me...
so guess that shall be it...
i'm trying hard to hold it...
i don't know how far i can go...
earlier there seemed to be some glimpse light in me...
yet they are all gone...
guess they are too little and too fragile to stay my company...
but that's ok...
'cause i know that's the nature of being...
loneliness and pretense...
it's all by myself...
i promise i'll manage to kick off those killing negative thoughts...
yet i doubt if there will be success...
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
A Colorful Background...
seem to be an irony to my gloomy feeling...just like the awesome weather recently we have here in Vancouver...a beach weather...a weather that perfectly allows people go out for fun and natures and companionship...yet i can find no one to share with...how pathetic...
trying to cheer myself up by changing the colorful background...just as trying to appreciate the fantastic weather so that i may be able to feel refreshed...
seem that never in my life do i hate the nice weather so much more than ever...the nice weather not only contradicts with my emotional gloominess but also seems to laugh at my current life stagnation...which is something i dare not to face with...
thinking of the classic Japanese drama Long Vacation, played by Kimura Takuya...and wonder how long my vacation would be before my dawn appears on me...a question that i have no answer so far...
and u...knowing my fragility so well...give me no comforting words...not even one word...
go away the god damn melancholy and depression!!!!!!!how long you wanna occupy my mind......
trying to cheer myself up by changing the colorful background...just as trying to appreciate the fantastic weather so that i may be able to feel refreshed...
seem that never in my life do i hate the nice weather so much more than ever...the nice weather not only contradicts with my emotional gloominess but also seems to laugh at my current life stagnation...which is something i dare not to face with...
thinking of the classic Japanese drama Long Vacation, played by Kimura Takuya...and wonder how long my vacation would be before my dawn appears on me...a question that i have no answer so far...
and u...knowing my fragility so well...give me no comforting words...not even one word...
go away the god damn melancholy and depression!!!!!!!how long you wanna occupy my mind......
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