again i guess i made it...
feel like crying yet finally still able to restrain it...
tho i do feel it hurt in my heart...
so hurt again that i give up fixing it...
no explanation, nothing to ask for...
i even don't know what i really want...
he is the first one and u r the second one...
the two that are dearest to me...
so guess that shall be it...
i'm trying hard to hold it...
i don't know how far i can go...
earlier there seemed to be some glimpse light in me...
yet they are all gone...
guess they are too little and too fragile to stay my company...
but that's ok...
'cause i know that's the nature of being...
loneliness and pretense...
it's all by myself...
i promise i'll manage to kick off those killing negative thoughts...
yet i doubt if there will be success...
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